Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
semi life
sometimes cracks appear on my semi life
ants crawling in get under my skin
refusing to die
a colony grows there
feeding on my fear
calling on the rain
sometimes there's a sun so bright
it blinds out every dark morsel
and the ocean curls lovingly under my feet
every speck shows off its beauty
colors bursting only for my absolute delight
Today i'm on the precipice
of dark and light
wondering where i will free fall
Friday, November 19, 2010
pick out your cloud
digging deep inside a forest
a sea of black blue green and yellow
every color
of our skin
reflects in the moonlight
beneath the dense
over by the lake the pebbles shiver
in the cold
as the ripples swoon
in perfect harmony
to the sound of a wailing storm
of minds cut in words
of love sliced penniless
of paths colored in ink
uniting nothing, dividing our time
into lightplays & rain
this is me
and me is you
and you is me
and the storm is ours
to hold and to have
till death do us part
pick out your cloud.
swan dive
toes touch the metal cold and warm
finger tips hold on tight
eyes closed
abnormal
beautiful
swan dive
into the blue
stirring the cold
waking up the leaves
slumber lust left behind
for the love of eyes of wide open
everything she sees
grey and true
all i can hear is you
in the ferocity of the wind
cut loose
falling free
with me
Saturday, October 23, 2010
are you
are you old
old enough
to know the difference between
a strawberry and a tart
Are you bold
bold enough
to know when to stand up and
when to give in
Thursday, October 21, 2010
this is how this feels
with no more
no more pain or tears
here we go
on a a wheel round
and round
every spin, every circle we make
takes us someplace new
buckleup
cause this will be unforgettable
the climb we rise
the peaks we soar
the lifts and the falls
it flows
so smooth
watching us from below
the whole world
smiling and crying
everyone wants to be us.
we are so new
so crisp so fresh
nothings gonna touch us
we kiss like pink
we touch like brown melting into an orange orange sun
we are inventing everything again
and wind wont move
and rain wont fall
and touch wont feel
and lips won't speak
till the sunshine touches water
and our colors remake the air
Saturday, July 31, 2010
there will be blood
there will be blood
on the hands of those
who deny justice
who fall prey to vile manipulations
& selfish desires
There will be blood
on the hands of those
who take away years & years
of hope & hard work
with a single wicked tear
There will be blood
on that hands of those
who blind with morality
who shatter a ray of light
with a double edged sword
there will be blood
you have been warned
Saturday, July 10, 2010
where is the beauty?
lifelong dreams
tantalizingly close & slipping away fast
sinking deep into the clutter
of the things we don't need
of the people that don't matter
of illusions of ourselves
of a million pointing fingers
& role models & doppelgangers
the words are trapped
by eyes waiting & watching
by tentacles of argument
by conflicts of relevance & beauty
by too many choices
by too many to please
No matter how much blood
no matter how many screams
no matter how dark & rich
the scene becomes
its always the same
lies wrapped in red lipstick
nothingness covered in satin sheets
& real beauty hidden in a cloak of shame
Saturday, June 26, 2010
poison oil
poison oil
slipped under my skin
when noone was looking
slithered into my blood
found the heat growing in my heart
& exploded
now everything inside
is all blown up
shards and shards of inside-me
that pierce right through
scattered in places i can't find
all because
of that poison oil
that seeped in
when noone was looking
Monday, March 08, 2010
rickshaw & road
Taken from the blackberry 8900.
First in a series of blurry sepia & black & white images on the road from work to home
Friday, March 05, 2010
spectator of the spectacle of release
my nose pressed to the window
i watch as bits & bytes
travel through the wireless
& seep into my brain
i stare
as they contort my thoughts
into newer shapes
& dance wild
living, loose, free
Posterous | Loaded
Loaded
On intoxicating love
On lightning seeds in my veins
On little boys.. precocious
On hurtful memories ..and poignant insults
On silly dreams.. and hopeful happiness
On a cotton trail ..leading to a chocolate house
Saturday, January 16, 2010
a tribute to radiohead
stare at me patiently
waiting waiting
for the void
to be replaced
with something real
it glitters
within reach
Tantalisingly close
i lean in
the game begins
we shift & move
and dance
to each others shadows
illusions both
nerves stiffen
breath stops
a unworldly melody
floats in
we soar
on a voice from elsewhere
we meet in parts & pieces
letters begin & words breathe
tonight we sail to the moon
Sunday, August 30, 2009
the uncool 30's
and now other people's sordid drinkin stories are not amusing anymore. i am hugely bored of hearing "hey the other day i got sooo drunk and then... " thats the point where i shut off. No, i don think its interesting that u got drunk and climbed up a tree or went to bed with someone you didnt know or puked yr guts out in a gutter.
i know at least 5 in-their-20's kids who do this every weekend. brag about more beer. tweet about tequila shots gone wrong. and wear t-shirts that proudly affirm their 'i like to drink' hobby.
i think i'm kinda jealous that i don have any crutches anymore - any reasons to do soemthing stupid like alcohol or cigarettes to feel cool and young and hip. i stand around at clubs full of glamorous looking people while sipping red bull and thinking oh shit i better not have too much of this cause i wont get sleep and i got an early morning. sad. i know.
blame it on the fact that im turning 30 in another 19 days. SUCKS.
dammit. im not cool anymore. :(
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Look what you did
And i drink it in every morning
Cut open my veins
Pour a glass
Drop an icy teardrop
Shake it up
Smile & sip
You put ink in my fingers
And i write with them every morning
Run them on empty walls & beds
Linger a bit to make new dots
Full stop. And start again
Joining pieces of me left on pillows
With the ink you put in my fingers
You put the breeze in my step
Now i fly over snow peaks in my sleep
& float on wet concrete with wide eyed wonder
Skimming the cool below my heels
Then the wet wind crawls under my skin
& life begins in my heart again
Thursday, March 26, 2009
music & me - final part 2
The pop phase went on till i think i was 14 /15. Yeah it didnt last too long due to the aforementioned 'search for depth'. Thats when MTV happened. Not the lame ass nonsense that is MTV now, but i like to think of my childhood MTV as a real education.
Course 1: How to rebel without a cause and look really cool while doing it - taught by kurt cobain, Chris cornell & eddie vedder
Course 2: Lateral thinking: the coolest ever channel Id graphics. MTV taught me the basics of how to say one thing in the most number of superbly cool ways
Course 3: how to hallucinate and elevate without being drugged - the one and only TORI AMOS , lifelong friend and secret lover
and so continuing on..
Phase 4: teeteering 'over the edge'
My earliest memory of watching MTV was afternoons once i got back from school and noone was home. Sneakily watching MTV when i was supposed to be doing homework or something and one day catching a video set in a grungy basement filled with teenage kids head banging in slow motion to one man's pain stricken voice. I remember very clearly being struck by the orange yellow dusty feel of the video and the 'anti' cheerleaders in black dresses. it smelled like teen spirit and it was heady. then on began the grunge obsession, accompanied by spells of bad poetry scribbled behind red line notebooks apparently an expression of my 'angst'
i still have those notebooks.
Phase 5: my first brush with hallucinations
in the middle of all those brown & grey boys with voices that sounded like paper tearing, a girl with flaming red hair wearing a red tulle dress stepping in and out of windows making love to a mystical piano entered my life. she's still in it , she's still making my hair stand up and showing me 'peices of things ive never seen'
tori amos , sometimes absurd, mostly kind of pretentious when she isnt singing, but always intense and cripplingly beautiful when she is, walked in and took me over. suddenly it seemed like some secret world existed with a secret language and now i was permanent resident of a dark fairytale wonderland.
suddenly am reminded of raggity and the cloud. i miss that book :(
Phase 6: 'adult alternative & mehfil -e -electronica
ok all grown up by now, the grunge/alternative/tori phase defining most of my teens and early 20's i landed up at my first 'advertising job'. discovered a lost cousin from my mom's side - mihir living in boston. thanks to the web we started chatting and realised we were like music twins or something. the newest, coolest music came to me direct from amrica courtesy mihir , here i was with silly smile on my face zoning out on death cab for cutie, phish and the like. Till of course, i heard psychedelic trance. extremely sceptical but pushed by the urge to at least try it, i did. it started with 'this is great work music' (the earlier commercial shit) to 'hmm there seems to be something here' (morning) to 'this is incredibly visual and strangely moving' (parasense).
Am somewhere still there now except with the brilliant addition of IDM (intelligent dance music) and trip hop fellows like rum pistol , prefuse courtesy the BASAK - art partner and grphic artist. between our secret language (which noone else at work seems to understand) are the scratchy, twisted sounds of IDM making the work seem sort of more than what it is. here's to that and to music. for making my world spin.
:)
Friday, February 13, 2009
music & me - Part 1
phase 1: Sunday Mornings with the Fab four.
This was me at maybe 5? or 6? something like that. My folks had this record player and every sunday morning the Beatles LPs' would rock our house. those days we were in no hurry to switch on tubelights so the perfect sunday morning was spent with the fab four singing 'hard day's night' and all four of us dancing and goofing around in the little bits of sunshine. ( i think thats where i got my fascination for sunrise trance from)
phase 2: Bowing down to 80's royalty
mid 80's. it started with watching madonna's like a virgin video and feeling creeped out, excited, and longing all at once. my first crush i think she was. i was too young to understand the references but i knew it was soemthing dangerously cool. Cut to me watching her performances on pirated VHS tapes goggle eyed , cut to lame mimicking of jackson's thriller moves cut to humming prince's purple rain cut to speech bubble inside my brain going 'this guy looks kinda weird, but damn this music is strangely beautiful'
apparently also somewhere in the middle of all of this was an arrogant 10 year old girl who thought peter gabriel was god and snootily snubbed everyone who didnt know who the hell he was. (god knows when this happened, but one of the snubbed friends confirms this)
Phase 3: Going Radio Ga Ga
Now to say i am a bit embarassed by this part of the music history is an understatement. Radio came into my life at this point. and so did pop music. not the madonna kind. more like the ace of base/amy grant one hit wonders kind.
so here i was in my early teens, when i decided radio and pop music was fun. No more 'borrowed tastes' i'm going to discover my own music without having to go across the road. so i started stealing No 1's from the weekly top 10's off the radio and by the end of it i had a drawer full of - you guessed it - mixed tapes. of course then i took it all too seriously and promptly rejected the entire movement because
'the lyrics dont mean anything' and 'my life is more complicated than silly love songs'. Of course what was complicating my life at 13 , ill never know.
coming up: phase 4: in search of the 'alternative', phase 5: trip hop & indie
phase 6: electronica takes over.
and then the forever top 10