Wednesday, December 14, 2005

about madness

I look around and i see eccentrics everywhere. crawling out of the woodwork, popping up like jack in the box's , running around scuffling, shuffling , working feverishly, blowing smoke question marks.. and genrally tripping.

I guess we are all crazy. yeah i know. im stating the obvious. actually i make a living from that so im excused. But really normal is abnormal. or maybe its utopian. these days variants, deviants, para sub and ab normal are all the rage. check any disco after 11 pm. everyone wants to 'stand out'. it makes an interesting sight for the spectator.. watching the flunkies, junkies and kinky ski monkeys letting it all hang out. reminds me of the song californication.

my own madness is apparent when i get dream like flashes of though. getting flashes of jumping off a cliff these days. its a very nice image. i can almost feel the breeze at the back of my neck. think its perhaps a long time dream of bungee jumping. although id like to jump off into another universe. every time i get stressed, boing! im on a beach ..boing! now im surfing in australia..boing! now im shopping on london street..like a crazy ball im being transported by the 'trampoline of my imagination' haw haw

but god, i like the matrix, its fun here.

sequel to matrix 3: Matrix 4: the big sellout.

Neo meets trinity's ghost who has been transported into the matrix but lives like ..well a ghost. She looks like a goddess and tells him while looking deeply into his deep blue eyes that a deep realisation came to her... chicken and chanel can hardly be replaced with black leather & metal bugs. After all even a really long rave party must end. as opposed to botox which makes sure your youth never does. Neo begins to wonder.. is the peace really as much fun as Fox news during war time?... hmmm

next installment. coming soon. watch this space

Thursday, December 01, 2005

thanks for all the fish

Thanks for listening all you guys.

Today there is dull yellow light on my desk , annoying clients in the conference room, leftovers of stress headache, paul oakenfold screaming ready steady go in my ears and the hope of an early evening out of office..

good stuff this oakenfold, shall download some more.

I ws surfing blog-hopping the other day and reached ateyas blog.. was reading her post about the teststerone spilling out from LOTR all over the train.. the words flowed and flowed.. i think along with the testosterone, little black letters also came spilling out from LOTR into her fingers, only difference is that they werent as boring as testosterone and they had their own quality..

i think here shoudl be a blog database... like a large database with millionsof categories.. and everyones blog featured on it.. yknow telephone directory types.. great reading material and absolutely the best place for media guys to find good writing talent i think.

Maybe it should be marketed as a job site of sorts... thats how the website would make money also. Pay a small premium to showcase your blog
(much much more flexible than the traditional resume format) to ad guys, publishers etc. take money from prospective employers to place ads.. the whole thing..

now who would give me money to develop and market this?


WANTED
'Ambassador of Kwan'
- Must have moolah enough to buy a small country
- Must completely believe that I could be the founder member of Ideas Alchemist Inc.
(tagline: ideas that turn green to gold - of course ill only market to America!. thats where the money is people!! not to mention millions of extremely stupid consumers)
- Must believe in me so much that he signs a
no-hard-feelings-if-idea-flops-badly contract with me

please contact me at ideasalchemist@gmail.com


Thats all folks!

'flow'

i cant rap, i cant rhyme.. all i can do is bide my time.. im hoping to get there, find my kwan.. so i write for a dime , from morning to next dawn...


hee hee.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

complaint box

i think everyones given up on me. no new comments or anything...:(

so ill pretend noones listening and write whatever im thinking. which is kind of nice actually.

its 11 25 pm and im still in office. too tired to go home, sushama has kindly lent me her house.. thank god. im about to crash out and die any minute. i dream of sleep these days. i dream of an endless long sleep .. i try and create the perfect conditions at home to make sure i get the most from my 5 odd hours .. the temperatur has to b just right. ive got to have my warm jaipuri razai and all that jazz. rahuls place is nice though. its very comfortable.. im looking forward to it.

there is some incredibly annoying music playing right now. kishore kumar at 11 30 pm at unbearabel decibel levels ..sigh.. im close to breaking a few things.

life is lateral metaphors. life is black raised letters and mechanical movements of the tips of fingers. life is walking in between awake and asleep. im glamousiring this but its actually horribly dull. although the work i do sometimes makes it ok. amongst other stuff.

i still have no cam phone and no money now to buy it.

ok cribbed too much. goodnight

Saturday, November 19, 2005

vertigo

heard U2's vertigo ( jackknife remix) in office this evening.

what an experience. a blaze of images whizzed past sucked into a deep blue vortex..
urban escape . is what the music video should be called if i could ever make it.

i saw myself standing on a building and leaping into the vortex and watchign people in the buildings i fell past , hair touching the glass panes lightly and fingers leaving their mark on ledges. fell past television reds, bronze patches of leftover makeup, rainbow kitchenettes and ugly bedrooms with stars on the ceiling ..

I close my eyes & open them wide into landscapes of black notepads.. mirror balls reflecting sweat droplets on 'crimson nails' reflected in shot glasses and hanging jesus drawing blood from necks, flashes of a waist chain glittering 'i scream' it says .. , i turn to watch sunglasses flicked across the table and visuals of everyone in the room flash through the lens.. like eyes flying ... i can see everywhere.. i can feel.

Friday, August 12, 2005

back and still boring

ok havent posted in a really long time.. people have most likely stopped visiting the blog anymore and have generally gievn up on me.. but here i am again. hopefully ill stay longer this time

im waiting to buy my camera phone next month so i will blog more.. only illblog on mobylog.. put pictures up there.. everybody please try mobylog , if you have a camphone its the best photobloggin site.

other news. another kelvan happening.. boooring.. one long weekend and ihave to sepnd it kelvaning.. very sad. but maybe sinnar and scenic beauty might make up thres also the prospect ofthe long drive there.. which will be nice

although id rather sleep. been sleep deprived for too long now.. feel zonked and woozy all thetime.. perpetual state of zonkiness.

now listenign to bjork on a relatively free day at work.. pagan poetry. screaming writhing vocals. making me feel all strung up inside.

have decided tolive on my own for the next four months or so till the wedding.. just like that .
have almost found a nice house, cheap rent and allthat. and also found a roomie.. keepign fingeres crossed that it willhappen..my new address could soon be DN nagar andheri qwest !! yay

ive never lived away from family and its probably the only time ll get to be totally on my own.. everybody thinks its a stupid move, think ill probably get too used to it and wont be able to adjust livign with a familya gain.. but im doing it anyway .. as usual :)

thats all now.. getting ready to do the usual ..

Friday, May 13, 2005

hitchiking

hitchiked on a sentence gifted
disconnected in an shot glass

crystals gazed out from behind the bliss
blue with black intersections on brown skin
the grey sky crawled inside the slits of my eyes
a strand of breath rested lopsided on a compromising ear
whsipering confessions of a street away from here

Feeling in convoluted emotions
ripping time away from time
tearing it to shreds and walking on glass
now im bleeding to feel alive

Watching the gravel through perspective views
sitting on the edge , slipping off the bed
and climbing back again
the hint of a smile creeping along the sidelines
words coming crawling into my fingers
eyes closed and im dreaming again

meghana

Monday, April 04, 2005

soul plane

I see you
on the taxi
watching the fog cloud up your window
tired dark violet skinnails scribbling on the surface
eyes betraying the contemptous smile
I think you see me too

stopping on the streetnext to you
adjusting pieces of me
brown upside down vision
caustic lips moving to the rythym of the acid rain
sliding down onto the sidewalk
fingers twisting to a desperate piano

we drive all nightto get to here
walk into minds climb the walls of space & times
cale laterally slip smooth
whisper into dreams
the circles & circles & circles go on
never stop spinning

me & you in the reflecting pool
simple.clean.joy
skinned.deseeded
raw

Sunday, March 20, 2005

limbo

this is a strange place. somewhere between the private & the public. Till i knew that nobody really read my blog i could post whatever i felt like.. and now more people are reading it occassionaly and i have become vaguely aware of a few eyes on me. thats probably why i have started erasing and typing instead of just typing.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005


my sonu clicked me Posted by Hello

bms freindlies..  Posted by Hello

Sunday, March 13, 2005

million dollar baby for 70 rupees

saw million dollar baby on a nice warm sunday afternoon with an old friend. Incredibly beautiful lookign film i thought... and actually quite inspiring. It makes you ( or me at least ) want to get up and find that one overiding passion that completley engulfs you. but of course its gotto be cinematic ,its gotto be soemthing glamourous like boxing or i dunno climbing the everest or dancing or soemthing.. ! its gotto be the arts or even mathematics but not as dull as accoutnancy .. soemthing like a beautiful mind..

i wonder if they will ever make a film on thsi guy who always wanted to be the worlds best typist.. and he met this catholic aunty who refused to take him on becasue she believes "boys cant type"?

but i quite liked the film. Hillary swank was great and even better was clint eastwood. JUst got a little scared that i hope at 50 i don look back and realise ive never doen anything really exceptional in my life. Hmmmmm... ( thats probably my reaction would be at the big realisation)

i wonder if being passionately cynical counts as a passion?

Friday, February 25, 2005

this post

This post to say i have no clear reason or direction in mind. This post to say that out loud so i dont put that thought back in the recesses of my mind and slip into the usual comfortable numbness

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

evening in office

this is another evening in office.. im feeling tired but blogging is nice. i finished an interesting project today. We were asked to come up with ideas on how to make people wear & carry condoms - those who frequent brothels.. KP , cotton green areas etc.

We did soem pretty creative things.. genereally having a blast till we reached objective number three. Now objective number three had us styumped. it said 'dispel the myth that people who wear condoms are infected' .. !!! dispel the myth! ..just like that. besides i was wondering how did such an opinion form in the first place? then it struck me that ironically .. its possible that ngo ( like the one we were 'servicing') probably did some campaign in the area that said that infected people can have sex provided they wear condoms' ... perhaps that campaign was a little too successful?..advertising has such power.. oof.. now im feeling all burdened with responsibility ..

but who has the time? to be repsonsible.. to think before i deicde hwo to treat a communication, to weigh the psosible effects, positive & negative.. (there are a couple of million im sure).. who has the time?? ..and what a frivolous excuse that is..sigh

i have a body ache now and im cranky.. more tomorrow... this is getting to be a nice habit..

Saturday, February 12, 2005

stalkers on saturday afternoon

radioheads thom yorke is 'climbing up the walls' ..very creepily

Its surreal .. this..listeining to songs about stalkers on saturday afternoons in office. is surreal rightly used here? malapropism! .. i really should stop giving people these unsolicited insights into my cluttered brain by starting and stopping streams of thoughts like this.. hmmm

i have just been to mukuls blog, sonus blog, rohans blog & ninads blog.. and nwo im feeling terribly inadequate. but we trudges ons. This putting eses after everything is a reuslt of a long association with vaibhav verma.. i wonder how many other things i say or do are reflections of people ive met or been friends with.

That reminds me. i think that originality has been exhausted. i was telling rohan this yesterday and he said originality was a myth in the first place.. i started feeling a little better about shameless co - opting taglines & skewing them to my own concepts.. :) but sometimes it feels like this is IT and nothing newer can ever be imagined , no other treatment is possible. Very humbling then when sampath comes up with something better in the next instant.

How sad , by the time we make up words like creativity & originality ...the moments have already passed!!

toodles people now.. i shall blog again this very evening...

Friday, January 28, 2005

sunday morning chatter

sunday morning. i got up early today dtermined to squeeze every minute of holiday time from this day. its really terrible getting only a day off in the week.. its ironic that i write for a living and yet get absolutley no time to write on my blog.

of course writing at work is very different. its incredibly difficult , ive realised to do 3 word encapsualtions of every thing.. my boss Sampat does it beautifully .. ( no he dosen read this blog) .. very ideas man. His life is full of eureka moments.

last night we had a little party as his house. very tiny place. one room kitchen house at oshiwara.. i love these houses with one person living in them. they awlasy look so bare.. the floor has no carpet and the kitchen has no supplies.. and theres one single bed right there in the hall.. hehe 'ruckus it is' as sampat would say. ruckus is sucha fun word you can use it anywhere and anytime...very versatile thing.

we had some vodka, listened to lots of trance ( both sampat & anoop - another colleague are HUGE trance fans) and trance is really nto so bad ... ironically if you listen to it at any place other than a disco its quite ok. very non intrusive music.. good for house parties.. quietly seems to chug along int he background and lets the conversation take over. and its great to listen to at work. kind of oddly enough stimulating. specially good for woking with deadlines.. kind of energising. i heard this strange thing that these days they are playing trance at shopping malls & cinemas becasue soem study established that it speeds up the lines. MIND control!!!!!.. aye but i dont mind control.. hheheheh..

this post has gone on too long now.. and im bored with the chatter.. signing off