despair

despair
despair is like disease. you need external help to really get rid of it. and like disease you wait till the last minute before you go to the doctor. By then you cant sleep, youre too tired to do anything, you're crabby, whiny and painful for everyone around you. You demand attention, love and you know its annoying being so clingy yet you seem to feel like somehow you deserve it.

but you dont go to the doctor, because of some vain 'ill solve this myself" attitude.so it doesnt go away.

and it starts to itch under your skin
right there in between your eyes
and inside your mindso you go

and do something stupid
and utterly silly
you feed the monsteronce again
till it mutates

despair is an addiction
like the meth stories ive heard
the clawing & scratching
till slowly there's a hole in your brain
and venom in your heart