sub title : my mind is a penis and other extrapolations
When the samosa killer discovered he was suffering from samosa flu cause by bacillus stupendous, he enrolled TA Cleo to pen down his last remaining memories. Yes the very same Cleo who is credited with masterpieces like the international best seller ‘parabolic peeing and hyperbolic viewing – a psychedelic healing experience’. The book was highly acclaimed and especially noted by the Duke of Paracetemol as a seminal analysis on cokeheads.
Here are a few excerpts from her as yet unfinished masterpiece – Chronicles of a dick head... A unique creative form that emerged from a con – genital rapport between Cleo and Major Major (a.k.a samosa killer) inducing deep deep thought that provoked her pen to write his memoirs.
"Professor. How brilliant you are!”.. Her nipples poked out petulantly out of her tight white shirt as she leaned over me. I had just finished the final blueprint of my new steno killer machine. What a masterpiece. Soon every single typing ink loving, spelling error making, breast heaving steno worth her shorthand would clasp her typewriter in fear at the very smell & sound of the whirring, growling ‘Steno Killer’
Steno Killer would be a revolution, it would shake the very foundation of the Shorthand Sirens- a secret society of stenos determined to convert every picture, every advertisement every television into long copy. It would viciously, vicariously vouch for vendetta and vindicate the very respectable copy writers who were spearheading the "Out with teh long, in with the short" movement
Ah! Samosa Killer rubbed his very obviously oily hands in grotesque glee. See what we will do to yoru short little hands my lovelies.. see how my Steno Killer will purge you of your so called skills.. heee haa hee haaa aaa..
..ahem.. err... the professor laughed.
4 comments:
Professor A. pass away into samosa land: Punjabi kitchens and roadside vadapav-waalahs lose a true genius and warrior
Samosa Killer aka Steno Killer aka Professor aka The Majestic Modjo Man aka Deeksha Prasad Sharma aka Pu Yi aka The Great Egg Plant; the man who was known as Professor A. passed away today into oblivion of the oil darkened four week old lungis of his much beloved roadside vadapav-walaahs. The only leftover of this great man is some curdled samosa he was cud chewing in his extra fitted bowine abdomen and the memories now being crafted by the very efficient TA Cleo.
It is worth mentioning TA Cleo's earlier - Parabolic Peeing.., Pornography and the seminaries of East Africa, Understanding LSD VOL 1-XXII, The infidel relationship between Fidel Castro and Castor oil and the finally the war time children's poetry book Looking London, Talking Tokyo.
The success of TA Cleo in her investigative writing is her brilliant ability to open many a closed holes and this has pleased her subjects immensly and they revealed their inner juices to her immediately.
Her work on the Samosa Killer will be watched out for by most of the demented world, the underworld and the other world (of the vada-paav walaahs)
She should ignore the threats that she has already recieved from many quarters of the otherworld that fear that their red chutney recepies would be revealed to the ruthless Shetties of the sukhsagar group
also one last word of caution - TA should not forget the fact that His Nonsensiness The Samosa Killer was a multifaceted and multidirection oriented personality. He had immersed himself ass deep on subjects as varied as rectal enema to seminal studies on the effect of LSD on the erectile function on house rats. She should,in her forthcoming parts, give her readers a glimpse, albeit brief, of the various personalities and eccentricities and multiple personality disorders of The Great Egg Plant.
Otherwise the true memoirs of this great man... ummm... personality...umm animal....ummm creature... will be lost to the forthcoming generations. Now is that something we should be happy and thank The Whitestriped Turtle for?
pandey ji. TA cleo sends her gratitude for your brilliant eulogy on the man... the savoury hater..the samosa killer.
a.k.a .. and the list goes on
may his stenogun rest in pieces
This is by far the best post i have read in years
thank you!!
asymptotic it is!!!!
oh ! thanks . now i am inspired enough to write the second installment in the series. watch this space.
:)
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